For the last several years, I have often wished that I could just stay at home and not work. We don't have children right now, so the whole issue of staying home with the kids never really came up. The idea of not having "real" responsibilities was just sort of romantic. I often reminisce over how much I loved sleeping in until 9, shopping at Target at 11am, and making my way to class around noon during college. While that was well and good then, I don't think having a wide-open schedule would suit me very well, but I sure wish that it would!
I am at the mid-way point of winter break. While it has been amazing to sleep, watch movies, and generally do whatever the heck I want, I don't think it is healthy. I can feel myself getting more and more lethargic. I eat like crap. And my nagging old depression is tugging on my sleeve. I truly think a huge part of this is that I am energized by a little bit of stress. I might as well face it, I like working.
If you have not yet read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Love Pray, you really should. In this book, the author goes on a year-long journey of discovering herself and finding balance in her life. One of the themes that I pulled out of it is the ability to just sit still with oneself. This is a quality that I long for but do not yet possess. This is likely the main reason that I couldn't stay at home by myself: I would LITERALLY drive myself insane. Seriously.
So, this week, I am going to work on that by actually practicing sitting still and being quiet with myself. Usually, this lasts for about 30 seconds until I find something to read, clean, or fuss over. Maybe I'll shoot for a few minutes. Hey, we have to start somewhere!
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